The Hill we climb

PTSD

I'm Faking being Sick?

You must be confused, because what I am actually doing is

Faking "Being Well"

I don't always talk about all my symptoms, I don't 

always admit when I'm not feeling well and I often put

on a happy face because its just easier that way.

Any idiot can fake being sick

IT TAKES REAL TALENT TO FAKE BEING

JUST FINE WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE HELL.

This comes to mind lately. Too many times people just do not understand. It is NOT their fault. I hope they NEVER have to go through it. I am learning to forgive others before they say things about stuff they don't understand. This is happening to ME, it's MY trial and it is completely unique as is everyone's trials. Someday I am going to help someone else. I know it. That is the one thing that keeps me alive some days. It is exhausting, looking over your shoulder every second, expecting doom to happen wherever you go and being trapped in your own body and mind. Feeling so desperate, you will do ANYTHING to make it stop. But you can't run away from yourself. I am my own worst monster. Even though every day feels like an eternity, I keep climbing the hill. Somedays I slip and slide backwards, some days I just sit where I am at and don't look up or down, but some days I will inch up and forward. It is painfully slow but the reward at the top of the hill will be a better and new me, a me that I will learn to love and like, and that is worth fighting for.