This year I have lost four pregnancies. My heart is broken for the babies I never got to hold in this life. I never got to kiss, never got to read a book to, never held in my arms. But I still bonded with them. Each time. My kids that I do get to hold remind me of all that is important. I am not the luckiest person on earth. Life is not a fairy tale. But my happiness is great because for all the bad things that happen, I know how to recognize the good, the beautiful, the sacred. I don't need something good to happen to feel I am enough. I am enough by myself. I am my own rock on the foundation of the Lord. He has got this more fully than I will ever comprehend. And that is my comfort. I can be happy. I can teach my children how to be happy. Look at that, how lucky am I to have hope for the future, faith that the Lord has got this, and true happiness while I wait. I must be very lucky indeed.
